I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
