So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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