I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
