I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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