SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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