You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
