Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
