also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Houston, we have a squirter
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
