I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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