I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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