dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
