No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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