i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
