Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
This toilet bowl is my home.
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