Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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