no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
