She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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