chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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