She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
