This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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