McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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