He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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