would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
