the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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