Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
