Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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