3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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