I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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