How'd it feel making her break her religion?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
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I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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