ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
