RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize