Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
