yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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