he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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