Nicole vs. Life
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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