You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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