is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
