Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize