perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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