dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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