yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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