so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
