I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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