Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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