I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
