Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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