party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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