I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
