haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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