shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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