check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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