That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
In America we eat man semen.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
