just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You don't make any sense
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