I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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